America. Land of the free, home of The Bravery.
Yes, the rock band from New York City.
You know what else New York has?
Every surfable beach in the area has sharks. Maybe that is why Brooklyn darlings MGMT had to learn to surf in Malibu.
Except California is shark infested too.
Even worse, it is home to the Great White.
Yes, the long haired rock and roll band from Los Angeles.
I would rather be once bitten by them, than the real great white shark, which loves California too.
When God created shark, it may have perfected Its mission and efficacy within the Great White Shark – the fastest swimming predator in the ocean.
What do surfers have in its defense???
This month Eternal Youth Empire publishing through the not-for-profit organization Israel-Light releases the FiRST EVER and ONLY comprehensive Guide to shark attack-free destinations of the world.
The directory is compiled by researching the most popular surf spots in every surfable country and cross referencing it with research to see if there ever has been a shark attack or even well-documented shark sighting at each surf spot, because a sighting could lead to a future encounter. That is how we define “no sharks” because technically, we all know it is an open ocean and a shark can be anywhere. But statistically they like to follow their food, and for some reason, some beaches don’t have it. So we found those beaches that have never had an attack or even a well-documented sighting, which is pretty good, because some of those local surfers surf the same beach every single day and if they swear that they have never ever ever seen a shark, that is good enough for us.
Just because the spots we research appear to have no shark issues so far does not mean one should fully let their guard down. You should never surf without caution, and reading further releases our organization from any and all liabilities that could arise from you surfing at the spots we promote.
The point of the Guide is simply because you have your choice of where to surf, so why would you pick a spot that has repeated documented shark attacks or sightings? That is all. We are not playing God and saying a beach will never have a shark there. We are just putting odds in your favor, by thoroughly researching EVERY decent wave in a country, and determining the shark probabilities there.
To give the public a taste of what the Guide is like, we hereby present you the “Top 10 shark free surf spots in America.”
The surf spots are ranked in order of best waves in general from 10 to 1 with 1 being the best wave.
“Top 10 Surf Spots in America with no shark issues so far:”
10. Pinched Loaf, Lake Erie
This also is our favorite named surf spot in America.
There is why White Trash was invented in this country.
9. Colorado River in Pueblo, Colorado
And you thought it was just for white-water rafting!
8. Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Now a real reason for New Yorkers to go to Jersey.
Finally Andrew VanWyngarden can surf something other than the Internet. Just kidding. The poor little rich rock star spent his birthday this year pretending to be the Wizard of Aus(tralian waves.)
7. North Point, Lake Michigan
You would think we could list all the surf spots in the
Great Lakes, except that bull sharks have been known to swim upstream rivers into these lakes, making them,
er, not so great any more. Yes, bull sharks can live in both fresh and salt water, and have been known to attack people in less than 2 feet of water. They are the most aggressive of all sharks.
6. Casa del Juez, Puerto Rico
The real truth behind why America made this a territory:
5. El Cocal, Puerto Rico
4. Green Rooms aka The Arches, Florida
We would have wanted to listed many more surf spots in the state that spawned Kelly Slater. While a popular surfing state, Florida is also the shark attack capital of the world. You could not pay me to surf ANYWHERE there.
3. Black’s Beach, San Diego, California
Yes one has to travel pretty far south in the Golden state to catch a good, reliably shark-free wave. The Beach Boys may not have been as popular had the Internet and shark attack videos already been invented. When you have seen what we have during our research, you will appreciate California Girls more than the surf.
2. Ma’alaea, Maui
Like you need an excuse to go.
1. Sunset Beach, Pipeline, and Backdoor
all on Oahu’s North Shore
all tied for first
the joke being that even the sharks of shark infested Hawai’i can’t handle these waves!
There you have it folks. In this article we do not include the Gulf of Mexico but you will find those spots in our Guidebook available on Amazon titled
“Swim WithOUT Sharks ~
The REAL Surfer’s Paradise
Guide to shark attack-free Destinations of the World.”
Thank you for your interest!